A magnet falling through a copper pipe
jfc tag your science porn guys
do you ever just realize
i really fucking love the lord of the rings
y’all bleed outta your vaginas
once a month, your panties look like a fucking murder scene
you are basically giVING BIRTH TO THE FUCKING LINING OF ONE OF YOUR INTERNAL ORGANS
and yet you just go about your daily business like
girls are fucking badass.
motherfucker what is this shit, sand? fuck sand. i hate sand. thanks, mom. thanks for absolutely nothing, leaving me here on this fucking beach, is that a fucking seagull? oh my god, mom, you suck more than anything has ever sucked. i’m getting to that ocean just so i can urinate on your carapace. i’m gonna urinate on it so hard. fucking sand. i think five of my brothers just got eaten. good, i hated those assholes. i’m coming, mom. you’ve got blood on your flippers, bitch.
My girlfriend (who is asleep) just rolled over, wrapped her arms around me and very lovingly whispered “I want to murder you”
The important thing is she hasn’t yet and that means she loves you.
It doesn’t matter if you’re pretty
or have things all over your face,
because what truly matters is
what’s inside you.
this is actually the most meaningful and thoughtful post i have ever seen on tumblr